Episode 132: Understand Your Past Triggers And Heal Your Future Self (w/ Dr. Nima Rahmany)
Today on the show, we have Dr. Nima Rahmany. Dr. Nima is a retired chiropractor that went into working with healing, based on cognitive and somatic-based tools. Basically what Dr. Nima does is, he helps people break trauma bonds and heal trauma bonds, which we will talk about on the show.
And he’s talking about the connection between our fantasies of love, sex, and money and how we can heal those kinds of traumas and cure our past in order to create a better future. It was an amazing conversation, full value, and I would love for you guys to hear this. Before we do, I just want to ask you, if you love the show, please share it with someone that can benefit from this show. So thank you again and enjoy.
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Gold Gems
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
Number one, I could make sure I can figure out, how did I get here? Number two, how do I make sure this never happens again? And if I can, and then if I can do number one and number two, can I potentially have a healthy relationship? The answer is yes. And if I can do these three, then number four, which is how do I teach other people how to not go through the exact same pathway that I did? So that’s really the backstory of why I’m teaching it.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
Most of the time relationships are fantasies. They’re in a fantasy, and what I discovered, is that’s why every relationship I was having, I was divorced back in 2011, every relationship was failed, a failed relationship because I was entering them thinking that the other person is there to heal me from my insecurities and make me happy and all of our unresolved woundings from childhood are going to be saved by the other person. And that fails miserably when we enter that with the covert agreement that that’s what’s gonna happen, the relationship is doomed to fail.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
Now there’s an option here, you either project that past wounding onto the other person and say, “Why are you doing this to me”? Which, you both are gonna be doing this to one another.Or you learn the skills of understanding your wounding, your attachment distress responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. This is what happens when you get into conflict. You fight, (poke), you flight (run), “I’m getting the hell outta here”. You freeze, which is you hide or you just shut down or you fawn, which means just fixing. Let’s just fix, abandon yourself and fix.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
Trauma is stuck, stored energy in our system. If you take on the work of shifting that stored traumatic energy through the system, your partner that used to trigger all of those past stuff, all of a sudden they’ll say the thing that won’t evoke the same response in you. Option number one, the dynamic shifts and arising tide lift all boats and the relationship transforms.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
What I do is I work with people and get ’em to a place where they have an open heart and they can move on. What’s the most loving thing for both parties to do? And sometimes the most loving thing is to move on. That’s the question. The work is to get the person to a place where they can have a deep love for themselves. When you have a deep love for yourself, you won’t tolerate being treated less than that. So a lot of people do move on and a lot of people, the relationship dynamic completely changes. And it’s a work in progress.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
Why do we step over these red flags when it comes to love? When it comes to sex, and it comes to money? And the answer to that is “FANTASY”. We have fantasies from childhood when it comes to love. When it comes to sexuality, we have sexual trauma. There is your first sexual experience. Oftentimes, there’s incest with family members. This is gonna be very triggering to a lot of people, but we talk about it very openly. Our sexual identity, our love identity, and our money identity comes from past experiences, our culture
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
If you don’t experience that level of feeling seen and attuned emotionally by a conscious parent, a fantasy gets implanted with love. I’m gonna have somebody make, totally adore and worship me with money. Oh, I’m gonna be rich and famous. So now you have this fantasy of I wanna be famous,
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
So what happens is when you get into a relationship with somebody, two people have these uncovered fantasies that they project onto one another called a shared fantasy. And this is what fuels the trauma bond, it’s the shared fantasy. And so part of healing from a trauma bond is dismantling that fantasy and really finding appreciation in reality. Changing your relationship to dopamine and getting the reward of the fame or the likes and the whatever, and to really give, learn how to give that to self.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
It’s like you’ve been born into a fishbowl with dirty water. You’re saying, how do you heal from that? You gotta get out of that fishbowl. You gotta be planted into an aquarium that’s clean or a garden where the soil has been toxic and deficient. You gotta remove yourself from that and put yourself in healthy soil and learn how to create a boundary around that soil that says, this is who I am. So now when you go in different places and other people have opinions about you that are different than you, you’re able to say, no, this is what I feel about me regardless, and that is a spiritual journey.
Dr. Nima ⭐Gold Gem
The first place to begin starts to learn how to the different parts of the nervous system and learn what they feel like when they get activated and how to operate the machinery.Because without that, business doesn’t work. Your relationship with money wouldn’t work. Your intimate partnerships, they’re always, you’re always activating one another. Yep. So this was critical information that I really needed to learn and so I teach what I most need to learn now.
RESOURCES
Websites and Social Media links:
IG: @drnima
FB: Trigger Proof Regulate Stress & Strengthen Immunity during a Crisis
Main website: https://drnima.com/
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